John Vanishes and Returns
If you read the previous post, you've probably come to the realization that John is a pretty peculiar individual. In spite of his strangeness, and his ability to set my teeth on edge with his non-stop prattle, I actually do like him. About three months ago, John suddenly dropped out of sight. No visits to the library. I didn't see him at Walmart. No-one saw him buffing the floors at the local Kroger whre her worked. It seemed John had vanished.
I mentioned John to a couple of staff members at our local library, and they confessed that they too were a bit worried about him. However, the library director said, "Be careful when you talk about him, or you'll conjure him up."
Well, it appears that my blogging about John has indeed conjured him up, because not 24 hours after I posted about him, I spotted him in our public library. I was initially alarmed when I saw him: he'd lost a great deal of weight, and his face had that caved-in, hollow, dark-eyed look people with physical problems get sometimes. He had the same wire-rimmed aviator style glasses with a chip in the corner of one lens, and wore a sweat-stained, soft brimmed derby style hat. His beard was thick, ragged and unkempt, and he was missing several teeth.
Apparently, John's car--a rusting 76 Poitiac with a hood as long as a bass boat--had blown the engine, and John didn't have a way get around. He explained all this in rapid-fire, stammering detail as I stood and listened to him, nodding occasionally and going "uh-huh." John contacted his employer (one time only) to tell him he'd lost his transportation, and he assumed he was fired. John's eyes glittered as he verbally laid into his employer, his mechanic, and the many people who were dunning him about his bills. As he talked, Johns hands danced around in the air like soft white birds, describing arcs, bobbing, weaving, and I watched them in fascination as he talked non-stop for 30 minutes. I finally made a lame excuse about 'needing to get somewhere' and hustled out the door, head down, eyes on the ground, burning in shame, yet desperate to get away.
Dammit. John's plight bothers me. I want to help him, but I don't want to be driven crazy in the bargain. I want to give him some rides, but I don't want to be subjected to his staccatto, rapid-fire dissertations on Doris Day, Desperate Housewives, Broadway musicals, and the heard-heartedness of his sister. Dammit. I'm going to have to do something.
Dammit.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 09.21.06 (10:40 am)
Wow, Basil. What a development. We're all different, we all make choices based on where we've come from and where we want to go.. if this was me.. I'd get straight with him about what I was thinking. I'd offer to take him to lunch so that I can level with him. He may not want to know your opinion of him, but then again, he may take it to heart. Or he may get really pissed and never speak to you again.. hmm.. I guess the hard part is determining if that's such a very bad thing. You've reached an impasse. It's go time. Keep us posted please.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 09.22.06 (4:02 am)
I guess that it's tough to know what to say... you don't want to hrt his feelings, but yeah... if you don't say something, he won't know why you're pulling away.
Maybe a smile, a chuckle, and a "slow down! You're losing me here!" would do the trick? Sort of turn it back on yourself... address it as possibly your failing, rather than his? I don't know... just an idea.
posted by: basild (reply)
post date: 09.22.06 (11:28 am)
Reply to: lindy
I'm trying to track him down now. No-body seems to know where he lives, and he isn't listed in the phone book. I'll keep you posted.
posted by: basild (reply)
post date: 09.22.06 (11:29 am)
Reply to: Cutter
Great advice, Cutter. The problem is getting him to stop talking long enough to actually say something to him. I think you've hit on a solution here.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 09.22.06 (11:43 am)
Laughter might really be the key. If you wave your arms around while laughing and signal to him that way to STOP!, he might. Once you get the mic, make sure to reassure him though. ;)
posted by: bronwynj (reply)
post date: 10.03.06 (5:21 am)
If it was me, I think I would attempt to be tactfully straightish with him, & promise/offer less than what I was prepared to give (I'd rather under promise & over deliver), & say "so long as you don't once mention Doris Day for the whole trip" or something like that. However, from the sound of John, he may be unable to change, it might be too hard for him to be any different from how he is.
It's been 11 days, do you have an update on the John situation?